In his book, “The Game of Conquering,” Rob Sperry breaks down network marketers into three groups: Victims, Survivors and Conquerors.
1) Victims are people who blame everyone else and outside events for their problems. Their attitude is “Woe is me” and ask “Why me?” They take no responsibility for their actions because they feel they have no control over their lives. They are usually the least successful of network marketers. They have zero accountability. They are stuck on the story they keep telling themselves and usually grow very little.
2) Survivors are the majority of network marketers. They tend to focus more on not giving up and not quitting. They don’t focus on conquering and winning. They do better in network marketing than victims, but are usually not among the list of top successful network marketers. Their goal is progress, which is a good thing, since victims don’t focus on progress. Thus, survivors are a step ahead of victims. Survivors tend to struggle with feelings of worth and often feel weak. They feel like they are barely hanging on. Since they focus on surviving and feel like they are barely getting by, it is hard for them to be very successful.
3) Conquerors focus on winning and conquering. Conquerors create and focus on their success story. They have a big enough vision to take massive action on the Income Producing Activities (IPAs) that will lead to great success and more money. Conquerors are committed to their growth. They embrace the past and learn from it, but don’t get stuck there. They are also able to see the future as a motivator and use the present to focus on. Conquerors have completely accountability and realize that they are ultimately responsible for their own success. Conquerors tend to be the most successful in network marketing.
In the second part of the book, Sperry focuses on the fears that stop network marketers from becoming success. He tells us that fears can be real or imagined. Fear is something in our brain that has been passed down for many generations to help keep us safe and alive.
Fear does not have to break us. We all have fears. Conqueror’s don’t live in fear and they don’t ignore the fear. Conquerors acknowledge the fear and finds ways to use the fear to move forward with courage.
Fear is the biggest reason people fail in network marketing. It is also the major reason people don’t start a network marketing business.
Rob Sperry focuses on 5 fears that stop people in network marketing. They are failure, inadequacy, missing out, unknown, judgment.
1) Fear of Failure – If we hold our sense of self-worth to how much we succeed or fail, we will try to avoid failure as much as possible. We will try to escape failure as much as possible when we fear it. We tend to become focused on past regrets and failures. We wind up avoiding taking the actions that can lead us to success because we are so afraid of failure. What happens is that the more we avoid the fears, the more we feed them and the bigger they become.
Conquerors view failure as a way of learning and take action on it because they will learn from it.
2) Fear of Inadequacy – When people have the fear of inadequacy, they often live more in their head than in the real world. They often wind up isolating themselves. Many feel they are not worthy of the companionship of others. Some also fear they will be rejected if others discover how inadequate they are. They wind up being trapped in a world they have created.
Sperry recommends changing our habits to overcome our fears of inadequacy. He also recommends both declaring what you want and why you want it, put up goals in a place where you can see it every day, and be 100% accountable.
3) Fear of Missing Out (F.O.M.O.) – The fear of missing out occurs when we believe others are having a better experience and better life than we are. We think they are happier and have a better life because they have bigger car and houses. Social media makes this worse because people keep showing the new cars they have and all the wonderful vacations they take.
Unhappiness is the number one cause of the fear of missing out. As long as you are comparing yourselves to others, you are often going to wind up unhappy.
Gratitude is one way of avoiding the fear of missing out. It is said that it is impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time. We need to stop looking outside for happiness, as people with F.O.M.O. do, and start looking within. We need to stop looking at the grass on the other side and start watering our own grass. Focus on making your life better and be grateful. The danger of the fear of missing out is that you miss out on your life.
4) Fear of the Unknown – The fear of the unknown really is the fear of anything that is outside of our comfort zone. Lots of people fear the unknown because they can not anticipate the outcome, and it scares them. It is one reason they stay in toxic relationships and jobs they can’t stand. They would rather stay at a horrible job because they are comfortable there and know what to expect, than quit the job and not know if they will get another job and wind up jobless for a long time. Hence, they resist change.
This fear of the unknown is why many people don’t try doing things that will make them successful. They don’t know what the outcome will be, and it scares them. They prefer to be in their comfort zone. It keeps us from progressing. The conqueror will take action on the unknown and learn from any mistakes he makes so that he can progress further. As he keeps trying, he will get more and more comfortable as the unknown disappears and becomes known. They take action on their fears, visualize succeeding, and look for solutions.
5) Fear of Judgment -The fear of judgment is one of the biggest killers of success. Many people are afraid to take action because they fear what their friends, family and colleagues will think of them.
The fear of judgment is the core of all other mental fears. For example, let’s look at the fear of failure. It’s not the failure that worries us as much as the fear of people finding out about our failure and judging us on it. Often we hide our true selves because of the fear of judgment. Many of us would rather be invisible than be judged negatively. We often give more value to the opinions of others than to the value we hold for ourselves. We wind up not daring to live authentically and we don’t become our true selves. The fear of judgment will prevent us from creating solutions and solving problems. We focus so much on what can negatively happen that we ignore our strengths and ability to contribute. Judgments are often made with partial information.
We usually don’t have all the data when we make a judgment, which can lead us to wrong conclusions. When we fear being judged, we often project our own thoughts onto someone else, which is often wrong. To overcome this fear stop trying to be someone else and just be yourself. People will like you for who you are. Be comfortable with who you are. You will find a group of people who are comfortable with you and will want to work with you, when you are are yourself and are comfortable with yourself. Don’t let others define you. Value yourself and your contributions. Finally, be kind to yourself.
The Game of Conquering is a very powerful book. If you apply the lessons Rob Sperry teaches you, it will definitely help you become successful.